


high dive from a heat wave

by oscillators (oscillovers)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Childhood Friends, Family, Friends to Lovers, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan-centric, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Summer, Summer Vacation, homophobia mention, it's like childhood friends to strangers to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26483002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oscillovers/pseuds/oscillators
Summary: Renjun smiles. “It’s been a long time."“A year,” Donghyuck says, nodding. A year since he saw Renjun sitting on the couch with his friends at the after-graduation party. But it’s been longer than that since they last talked and years longer still since they were friends.☀️Donghyuck returns to his hometown by the sea for the first time since he went to university, and reunites with Renjun, his childhood best friend.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 87





	high dive from a heat wave

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!!!!!!
> 
> tw for mentions/allusions to homophobia/bullying/violence. if you want to skip that paragraph entirely, it starts with “donghyuck came out as soon as...” and you can read from “donghyuck doesn’t know if there’s any correlation…” it’s just a short paragraph but i wanted to make sure just in case
> 
> a note/disclaimer: 
> 
> the school and university system that i use in this fic are those i use in my life. i honestly have no idea where to look when it comes to specific details like “is it normal in korea to go back to your school after leaving to say hi to your old teachers?” (it is where i come from) also with the medical school i know like ? america has pre med and all that but in my system from you go in and do an undergrad degree for 5/6 years ;; and with things like prom in year 11 ;;; basically i grew up in an international environment with no One Specific School System and i didn’t go out of my way to try to write a school system i do not know or understand for this piece of fanfiction that’s supposed to be set in korea.  
> and i know. i like. i know it doesn't make sense to not go home all of the academic year when you're going to university in the same country as ur home, esp when that country is small. but let me project. /i/ go to university 6000km from home i will keep projecting onto donghyuck if it is the last thing i do
> 
> oh also! short little [playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxbNtnVj0cCP-Vo_59gvAW3rajmUHYgIa) i listened to a lot while writing this if you want that
> 
> title (kinda) from malibu 1992 by coin
> 
> please enjoy. i love this fic a lot.
> 
> 13/01/2021 edited and converted it into sentence case! please shoot me a cc if you find any odd capitalisation errors anywhere i did my best

When Donghyuck took the bus from the train station in december, he was the only one who got off at his hometown. It was an hour of staring at the frost on the windows and the driver calling him son and helping him with his suitcase. A little lonely, and a lot cold, but mostly pleasant. Doyeon was waiting for him at the bus stop with their mom, bundled up almost beyond recognition. As soon as he got off the bus, his mom had cooed and fussed over his ruddy cheeks and pale winter complexion and Doyeon, four years younger but for some reason taller and stronger than him, took his bag. 

Summer is a different story. The bus pulls to a stop with a high-pitched screech and a dozen different people stand up. They’re mostly korean, but there’s one family that was sitting just ahead of Donghyuck and he thinks they were talking in french. There are young lovers and there are families with screeching, giggling children and there are a few elderly couples as well. 

The bus’s air conditioning does little to combat the sweat beading on Donghyuck’s back as he patiently waits for all the tourists to unload their luggage. He can never complain about the tourists, no matter what they do. It’s practically blasphemy, when the money they bring in is what allows his family to fill the bellies of his littlest siblings in the harsher months.

“Excuse me,” Donghyuck mumbles, trying desperately to not whack a very stubborn woman with his bag. 

He’s the last one off the bus and he’s barely stepped off when the door hisses shut behind him and he’s left standing in the dust and smoke streaming out from the exhaust. 

“Excuse me,” someone asks. It’s a pretty girl, one of the tourists. She’s maybe Johnny’s age or a little younger. She points at her phone, open on the notes app. “Could you just let me know if I have the right directions?”

Donghyuck plasters on a smile right away. “Sure... Yeah, that looks right. If you follow the main road you’ll get to your hotel pretty easily. It’s hard to miss, great big building.”

She nods in understanding and Donghyuck watches her hurry away. He could have offered to show her the way himself, since she’s staying at the hotel his father works for, but his house is a little way away and he doesn’t want to make a detour with his suitcase. 

He wishes he had a handheld fan like they sell in the stores by the beach, but as it is, he wipes the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand and heads towards the distant sound of the crashing waves and the seagulls. Some aunties wave at him from their balconies, and he spots a couple of kids he recognises from school out on the main street. 

When he finally reaches the cul-de-sac he grew up in, Donghyuck stops and stands there, just for a moment, in the middle of the road. This is all he wanted for the past six months, when he felt like he was rotting away in his dorm room in the city.

When he breathes in, he tastes salt in the air.

He’s home.

☀️

Dinner in the lee household has always been a loud affair but today is particularly noisy - his parents are talking over each other, Donghyuck’s two second youngest siblings are fighting, and the baby is crying. 

Donghyuck watches as Doyeon practically inhales her food. 

“Hey,” he says, kicking her under the table - just enough to get her attention. “Slow down, you’ll get sick.”

“I -” Doyeon starts, but then she chokes on her chicken and starts coughing.

“Lee Doyeon, really,” their father tuts. “Eat like a lady.”

Donghyuck quickly looks away but he sees fire in Doyeon’s eyes when he passes her water. She takes it with a grateful nod. 

“Are you done?” Donghyuck asks, surprised when she stands up. She just nods and turns on her heel.

When Donghyuck got home, his parents were still at work. But he didn’t need any sort of welcome; just being here was enough. In fact, being welcomed back with ceremony might have made him feel even stranger. As it was, he hauled his bags into his room - the smallest room, but thankfully just his - and showered. By the time he got out, his mother was in the kitchen. Donghyuck had walked in, kissed her on the head, and started to help with chopping. Doyeon had silently hugged him tight from the back and Dowoon and Dahee had run up to him when they heard he was home, demanding that he tell them all about the city.

Donghyuck swallows down the last of his dinner and takes both his and Doyeon’s plates to the kitchen.

“You can give me Dahyunnie,” he tells his mother, who has her youngest on one hip and is trying to feed Dowoon with the other hand. 

“Please,” she says. Dahyun is holding onto her dress tight, but Donghyuck lifts her into his arms pretty easily. 

“Oof,” he grunts. “Baby’s getting heavy,” he laughs. 

Mercifully, she seems to be pretty sleepy after having cried for nearly all of dinner. 

He walks away from the dinner table, chattering quietly to her. He’s content to stay pacing indoors, but he spots Doyeon on the porch through the window and slips out to join her. 

“Hey,” he says. 

Doyeon looks over her shoulder at him. “Hey.” Her face brightens when she sees Dahyun. “Give me Dahyunnie.”

Donghyuck frowns. “No,” he says. “I missed her. She’s gotten so big.”

“One and a half now,” Doyeon smiles. 

Right. Donghyuck remembers when Dahyun was born right in the middle of winter, when Donghyuck was preparing for exams so he could go to college. It still hurts him a little whenever he remembers that being away at university means that he misses his sibling’s birthdays - especially Dahyun’s first. Doyeon had sent him pictures, but it wasn’t the same. 

“What stories are you going to tell the kids about the city?” Doyeon asks. The corner of her mouth is quirked up into a half smile and Donghyuck sees himself in the habit. 

“I don’t know. Skyscrapers, or something. There isn’t much to see.”

Doyeon sighs. “That’s because you’re boring.”

“Am I now?” Donghyuck replies, monotonous. 

Doyeon kicks at the dirt. 

“I can’t wait to get out of here.”

And Donghyuck sees himself in those words, too, so all he does is smile. 

☀️

Donghyuck had wished to be home so badly when he was in Seoul, but his friends are still scattered about - some of them had gone to college in Seoul like him, but hadn’t jumped on the first possible train home so they weren’t here yet. Others were still attending class at the college in their closest city, the one with the main train station. Na Jaemin, for example, is still at his classes but, according to his snapchat story, has little to no intention of coming back any time soon. 

Seo Yerim was one of Donghyuck’s best friends in high school. She attends the same college as Jaemin but she comes home on the weekends, so that’s where Donghyuck heads today. He asks for permission to take his dad’s car, gets yelled at by his father and quietly comforted by his mother, and resigns himself to grabbing his sunglasses and taking the bus instead.

When Donghyuck steps off the bus and walks to the Seos’ house, he’s greeted by a muscled shirtless back in front of an open car hood. 

“Hey, Youngho-hyung,” Donghyuck calls out to him. When he turns around, Donghyuck feels like he needs to avert his gaze from Yerim's brother’s body.

“I told you to call me Johnny, Donghyuck,” Johnny says, grinning. He wipes the grease off his hands on a cloth he pulled from his pocket and claps Donghyuck’s hand in a semi-high five, semi-handshake manoeuvre.

“Right, you go to college in america and come back _Johnny_ ,” Donghyuck says with a roll of his eyes. 

Johnny laughs, full bodied, and Donghyuck grins at him. 

“We missed you out here,” he says pleasantly. “Yerim came home on the weekends and kept trying to bother me into gaming with her all day because you were busy.”

Busy with the gut-wrenching sick feeling that comes with feeling as though you don’t belong and the stress of falling behind in classes and not being sure if your new friends like you or not. Donghyuck mentally sighs. He really clawed his way through his freshman year.

“Don’t lie, you love playing.”

“Not with Yerim! She’s so much better than me!”

“Maybe you could try not sucking,” Donghyuck teases.

Johnny rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “I’ll see if I can try that.”

Donghyuck leaves Johnny to his car and pushes the front door of the house right open. Johnny and Yerim's parents separated when Donghyuck was maybe seven - it was probably the biggest scandal their town had ever seen, and their mother left korea for america that summer. Yerim would go for the summer and come home in september and when they all went back to school, she would tell tall tales about americans and their cities and their culture. Donghyuck and all the rest of them had listened to her, eyes wide and in awed silence, until one of them - Huang Renjun, always too smart for his age - realised that there was no way that every single one of Yerim’s stories were true. Yerim’s popularity - or whatever popularity means when you’re in elementary school - had plummeted, but Donghyuck continued to listen to her anyway. He thought she was cool and he liked playing video games at her house after school. So much so that he does it to this very day. 

“Seo Yerim!” Donghyuck calls from the doorway.

“I’m coming,” she calls out. He can hear her running down the stairs. 

“Yerim- _ah_!”

“Oh my god, I’m coming,” she whines. Yerim becomes visible socked feet-first and Donghyuck is already grinning at her from the doorway. He knows to expect it when she doesn’t slow down at the bottom of the stairs and instead runs directly into him and tackles him into a hug. 

“I missed you,” she says, pulling back and kicking Donghyuck in the shin hard so hard he stumbles. “Come on, let’s play.”

☀️

Time passes differently in the summer. The days themselves stretch long but it’s like they’ve all been bunched together. Donghyuck’s first week or two home from university pass with him busying himself visiting old school friends, running errands for his mother, or just gaming with Yerim. But Donghyuck’s favourite were the long mornings spent sleeping in, finally in his own bed in his own room, with no roommate who’s always stumbling home drunk on weekdays or surprise three am fire alarms. 

Today’s morning is interrupted when his phone won’t stop ringing. He groans and squints at the screen. It’s Doyeon. He’s about to ignore it when he remembers that she’s supposed to be at school. 

“Hello?” He says. His voice is hoarse first thing in the morning, but he doesn’t need to use it much. Doyeon explains in desperate whispers that she’s hiding in the bathroom to use her phone and her final art project is due in today in an hour and she’s left it at home and it’s on the table in the kitchen and please oh please could Donghyuck get it to school in time. Donghyuck sighs and starts getting up. 

“You owe me one. I’ll be there soon,” he tells her before promptly hanging up. He has an hour, still, so he washes his face and changes into presentable clothes. His mother is in the kitchen, with Dahyun sitting on the counter contentedly kicking her legs and just watching. Donghyuck kisses first his mother, then the baby, then picks up the rolled up poster from where it’s on the table exactly where Doyeon left it. 

“Headed somewhere?” His mother asks. “Your father has his car, you’ll have to take the bus.”

Donghyuck nods and with his free hand, swipes a slice of toast from the plate by her side. She tuts at him but doesn’t say anything except for a goodbye.

☀️

The display that he and Jaemin had put up is still there in front of the science classrooms. It distracts Donghyuck as he walks past, looking at the walls instead of looking where he’s going -

To the point where he bumps into someone. Donghyuck steps back quickly and bows apologetically. “I’m so -” he begins, cutting himself off when he’s realised who he has knocked into. 

“Renjun?” Donghyuck says, before he’s even registered that he’s said it. The person - it’s Renjun, oh my god, Renjun turns around. 

His hair is pink. Candyfloss pink, and he’s wearing thin wire-framed glasses. He’s traded his high school standard button ups for a bright yellow hoodie, despite the heat. Donghyuck hasn’t seen Renjun in a little over a year, but he looks… 

Good. 

A little bit too good for Donghyuck’s comfort, if he’s honest. He’s always been attractive, cute or whatever, but Donghyuck is seeing him now and it’s hitting him that Renjun is full-blown handsome. The memory of spending his early teen years with a raging crush on his best friend comes to mind, unbidden.

Donghyuck swallows.

“Who - oh, Lee Donghyuck!” Renjun says, smiling. “It’s been a long time.”

“A year,” Donghyuck says, nodding. A year since he saw Renjun sitting on the couch with his friends at the after-graduation party. But it’s been longer than that since they last talked and longer still since they were friends.

“You ended up going to Seoul, didn’t you?” Renjun says, shifting his weight. 

“I did,” Donghyuck nods. Renjun looks nervous, for some reason. Donghyuck observes the shifting line of his throat as he swallows. “Done with freshman year. And you? First year of medicine?”

Renjun nods. “complete.”

“Pink hair,” Donghyuck comments. “Not entirely appropriate for a doctor.”

Renjun grins. “I have a few years to go.”

There’s a short silence. It’s awkward, really, and Donghyuck hates awkward. It’s just… been a while.

“Are you -”

“What are -”

The two of them fall silent, and stare at each other for a moment. 

“You can go -”

“Why don’t you -?”

Renjun laughs and sighs, just a little. “Alright, I’ll go first. I was visiting Mr Qian.”

Donghyuck’s eyes widen. “Kun’s dad? The biology teacher?” 

“Yeah, he, uh. He helped me a lot with my college stuff, in our senior year, so -” Renjun shrugs. “Yeah.”

Donghyuck feels like an itch has wriggled its way under his skin. He clenches and unclenches his fist a couple times. He doesn’t _want_ to be awkward with Renjun.

“I just dropped something off for Doyeon - you remember Doyeon, my sister - anyway, I’m…” Donghyuck forces himself to get to the point. “Do you want to get something to eat? We could catch up, it’s around lunch time, anyway, isn’t it?” Donghyuck goes to look at his wrist but isn’t wearing a watch.

Renjun stares at him in silence for a long moment. It’s weird, Donghyuck knows it’s weird, but he’s been so homesick for so long, and even though he may not be anymore, for a long time, Renjun was a living breathing piece of Donghyuck’s vision of what home meant. So Donghyuck wants to be able to be with Renjun again. So when Renjun stares at him, Donghyuck stares back resolutely.

“A little early for lunch, but sure. Do you have a car?” Renjun asks. “Cause I got the bus here.”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “No, me too, we can go down to the main street. Get burgers, or something.” They have two or three restaurants that serve american food for the white people who come to visit, although why they would come to a rural town on the coast of a foreign country and expect to be served their own food Donghyuck can’t fathom.

Back when Renjun and Donghyuck were really close, they would spend hours throwing fries at each other and stealing each other’s milkshakes in the very corner booth. Sometimes when they came after school Renjun would bring his homework and Donghyuck would decidedly do _not_ that, until Renjun started staying late at school to study and before Donghyuck knew it, their diner “dates” became a thing of the past.

Renjun knows exactly what he means when he says _burgers or something_ , but he doesn’t have homework anymore, so all he does is laugh, a little surprised. 

“Or something,” Renjun echoes. He glances at his phone. “Come on, bus comes in a minute,” he says, turning to leave. 

Donghyuck keeps pace with him so they’re walking side by side. “The buses are never on time anyway,” he complains. “They’re reliably late.”

The corner of Renjun’s mouth curve up into a smile and dimples appear. Donghyuck blinks, and for a moment he’s fifteen again, dreaming about kissing the spot on Renjun’s cheeks where his cheeks dimple. Donghyuck physically shakes the thought away, earning him a side-eye from Renjun.

The bus is late, just as Donghyuck knew it would be, and he lauds his little victory over Renjun exaggeratedly. Renjun laughs, and it’s easy, for a moment. 

They oscillate randomly between being comfortable and being awkward. It’s like it’s natural for them to get along like they always have, like they have since Renjun moved to korea - aged six and a half with a wit too sharp for his age and a habit of talking back that got him put in detention as often as Donghyuck was. But sometimes - like at the bus stop on main street, when they’re about to get off - they remember to be strangers like they have been for three years and a stiff politeness takes over as they both try to allow the other off the bus first and someone just walks in between them. Or like when they slide in on opposite sides of the booth instead of on the same side, and Donghyuck is reminded of the chasm between them that is three years of not being friends.

Donghyuck stares at his hands on his lap and pretends he doesn’t feel Renjun’s gaze on him. It’s not _supposed_ to be awkward with Renjun, is what his brain keeps telling him, over and over.

“Donghyuck! You’re back!” someone calls, and they both turns around to see Jaehyun, apron in hand, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. “Hi, Renjun,” Jaehyun smiles charmingly. “How’s Dr Huang?”

“He’s good,” Renjun answers politely. Donghyuck watches as Jaehyun nods before turning back to him. Jaehyun looks between the two of them.

“I just got off my shift, but do you want me to get you guys anything?” Jaehyun glances at his watch. “I’m over at the hotel in half an hour, I don’t have a lot of time.”

“No, hyung,” Donghyuck insists, grabbing at his wrist. He drags Jaehyun down to sit next to him. “Sit.”

A part of Donghyuck hopes desperately that Jaehyun being there will keep any awkwardness at bay, but his hopes are in vain, because the first thing Jaehyun says is,

“God, I haven’t seen you two together in years. What happened?” 

Donghyuck whips his head around to face Renjun, who shrugs.

“We bumped into each other at the high school and decided to catch up,” Renjun says, diplomatic. Well, it’s true. And really, that’s all there is to it, but not when you’re Donghyuck and Renjun is not just an old friend, but an anchor to a place and time. Donghyuck wonders, for a moment, whether he’s alone with the hammering in his chest and all the apprehension he’s felt since seeing Renjun. Whether that’s really all there is, to Renjun. Catching up with an old friend. The idea has Donghyuck biting his cheek and fiddling with the peeling corner of the menu stuck to the table.

“Well, that’s good,” Jaehyun says amiably. “Listen, I’d love to hang around but I need to take care of some stuff before I start at the hotel. Tell taeil hyung to give you an employee discount, my treat,” Jaehyun grins. “see you guys around.”

“See you,” Donghyuck echoes. Both he and Renjun watch Jaehyun leave. 

They get to talking, then, finally. Renjun tells him about busan, about how it’s by the sea but nothing like home, about his friends that he’s made and the satoori he’s picked up, and Donghyuck in turn talks about Seoul. And it feels more and more natural the more they talk - when Donghyuck makes fun of his roommate’s anime posters, Renjun gasps and says his roommate is the same, and when Renjun tells Donghyuck about how disastrous his first clinical placement was, the two of them are shaking with laughter and Renjun nearly knocks over his milkshake, which just sets them off again, and - 

And it’s easy. It’s so easy to be with Renjun, to talk to Renjun.

Renjun tries to show Donghyuck something on his phone and ends up getting up and sliding in next to him on his side of the booth. It feels right, like this.

Donghyuck gets a phone call from his mother and it’s only then that he realises how much time has passed - it’s been well over an hour since they got to the diner and even longer since Donghyuck left for the school. He looks at Renjun apologetically. He’d been in the middle of dissecting the plot of a drama they’d both watched over the past year and both hated. 

“I need to go,” Donghyuck says, and he’s surprised himself with how genuinely upset he sounds.

Renjun goes to sip at his milkshake only to realise the glass is empty. “it’s okay,” Renjun says. He slides out of the booth so Donghyuck can get up. “it was - I don’t know. It was really great seeing you again and talking to you like this.” 

I missed you, Donghyuck thinks, but the words hang unspoken in the space between them. 

“I’ll text you,” Donghyuck says instead. “I still want to know how you’d fix the ending. You, uh - your number’s still the same, right?” It’s been a lifetime since Donghyuck has texted Renjun. He’s felt an odd sting in his chest every march for the past couple of years when Renjun’s birthday has passed and he didn’t text. 

Renjun nods quickly. “Yeah. Ends in 16.”

“Right,” Donghyuck says. He suddenly becomes very interested in his own shoes and he sees Renjun watching him in his peripheral vision. He doesn’t know how they’re supposed to say goodbye anymore and he’s considering just saying bye and leaving when - 

Renjun hugs him.

Donghyuck is taken aback, but he hugs Renjun, too. It’s just for a second, but for some reason he feels his cheeks warming. Maybe it’s the embarrassment from just how awkward it is. 

“I missed you,” Renjun says. “Bye.”

Donghyuck swallows. “I missed you too. Bye, Renjun,” Donghyuck says. He leaves and tries not to wonder why Renjun was brave enough to say he missed him and he wasn’t. 

☀️

The evening sees Donghyuck sitting on the back porch on his own, chewing at his lip and staring at his phone screen. It’s open to his messages with Renjun. 

**11/06/2018**

**me:** hi renjun do you have a copy of the mock exam answers for biology?

 **renjunnie 🧸:** yeah

 **renjunnie 🧸** sent a pdf (2 mb)

 **me:** thanks 

It was the last time they’d texted. If Donghyuck scrolls a little farther up he’ll notice the absence of any messages on the sixth of june, so he doesn’t scroll. He doesn’t need reminding that he and Renjun stopped wishing each other happy birthday. Especially his eighteenth. When they were kids, they’d had so many plans for when they turned eighteen. They had had no reason to think they wouldn’t be friends because why would they? 

Donghyuck bites at the inside of his cheek and is about to text Renjun and ask him about the drama, the one they didn’t get to finish talking about, but he hesitates. Instead, Donghyuck taps elsewhere on the screen. He feels like he can hear his own heartbeat hammering in his ears. 

**renjunnie 🧸 >> huang renjun **

**Tap ok to confirm new contact name**

Donghyuck taps ok, swallows, and types out his message to Renjun. 

The typing bubble appears right away. 

And Donghyuck only gets up when Dowoon comes out and starts trying to play games on his phone. 

☀️

“You’re losing, Hyuck,” Johnny says, keys jangling in his hands as he passes behind the couch. 

Donghyuck spares a moment to scowl at Johnny over his shoulder. He is, in fact, losing, but that doesn’t mean he wants it pointed out. Yerim had asked Donghyuck to hang out, and though the sun’s shining outside, Yerim doesn’t care. She apparently is only interested in annihilating Donghyuck at video games. 

Johnny just laughs and takes out his phone.

“Where are you going in such a rush, anyway?” Donghyuck asks. 

Yerim hums in agreement just as Donghyuck’s half of the screen dims as he dies in the game. “I thought you let yuta take over the garage for today.”

“I’m meeting Ten,” Johnny says distractedly, tapping at his phone. 

“Who’s Ten?” Yerim and Donghyuck ask at the same time. 

Donghyuck watches as his eyes widen comically as soon as he realises what he’s said. 

“He’s, ah. Nobody. Anyway, I’m gonna head out, you guys have fun, bye Yerim, bye Donghyuck, bye!” His keys jangle in his pocket all the way to the door. 

Donghyuck turns back around and reaches across Yerim to get some more chips. She’s still playing, eyes on the screen. 

“Do you know who Ten is?” Donghyuck asks her. 

She shrugs. “Why would I keep track of all my brother’s twinks of the month?”

“Johnny hyung is usually really casual about it, though,” Donghyuck ponders. “He seemed nervous? Or maybe excited, I don’t know. About meeting him.”

Yerim curses when she dies onscreen and shuffles closer to steal chips out of the bag that’s now in Donghyuck’s lap. She stuffs a handful in her mouth then wipes the crumbs on Donghyuck’s shorts.

“Gross,” he mumbles. He’s distracted from determinedly brushing the crumbs off by his phone buzzing from where it’s wedged in between the couch cushions. 

**huang renjun:** no you’re absolutely right that’s her best album and this mark friend of yours should be ashamed. 

Donghyuck chuckles and swipes to reply. 

**me:** thank you kkk i knew you were a man of taste 

Donghyuck hesitates for a moment then types out what he’s thinking. Why not?

**me:** do you know a 10?

 **huang renjun:** i’m a 10. you’re like a strong 7, weak 8.

 **me:** fuck off tt

 **me:** and you know i’m a 10 :p

 **me:** no his name is 10? or ten? 

**huang renjun:** whose

 **me:**??? im asking you !

 **huang renjun:** dumbass why

 **me:** oh

 **me:** he’s someone johnny’s meeting i was wondering

“Who are you texting?” Yerim asks, leaning over Donghyuck’s shoulder. Donghyuck locks his screen right away and she retreats with a disappointed huff. “Do you want to play again or are you gonna leave now? Cause I need to wash my hair, so.”

Donghyuck stares down at his phone. 

**huang renjun:** just find johnny lol

 **me:** do you want to actually 

**huang renjun:** what? stalk seo yerim’s brother kkk

 **huang renjun:** sure meet me at your bus stop i’m nearby anyway.

 **me:** okayy

“Huang Renjun?” Yerim says in surprise. “You guys used to be best friends.”

Donghyuck locks his screen again right away. 

“We did. I’m actually, uh. Meeting him. So I’ll head out.” Donghyuck shoves his phone in his pocket and stands. “Cool,” He says. Suddenly he’s very afraid of Yerim asking questions. “See ya.”

She just blinks at him. “Uh. Okay. See you.”

He feels bad, but he tells himself Yerim had given him a choice, and any guilt he feels is swiftly dissolved by the sight of Renjun standing at the bus stop. He’s wearing sunglasses and looking up at the sky, head of pink hair tilted back as he stands with his hands in his short pocket right where the bus is supposed to stop. 

“Hey,” Donghyuck says, waving. Renjun waves back pleasantly even though Donghyuck has come close enough that it’s a little unnatural to wave.

“Hi,” Renjun says. “Decided to play detective today, have we?” He laughs. “You’re such a weirdo.”

“I’m just curious,” Donghyuck whines. “I need to know.”

There’s never much gossip here, so the prospect of Johnny having some kind of secret lover is cause enough for entertainment. Renjun knows this, which is why he indulges Donghyuck.

They spend a while walking on the promenade, but the late afternoon sun is starting to get to Donghyuck and Renjun. They haven’t found Johnny and Ten just yet, but their walking has ended them up in front of the diner. Their diner, Donghyuck thinks of it as. 

“Why don’t we just ask Jaehyun?” Renjun suggests, pushing his sunglasses up onto his head. It works like a hairband too and pushes his fringe back. Donghyuck stops in his tracks.

“What?” Renjun says.

 _You look good_ , Donghyuck’s stupid gay brain supplies. He has to physically swallow the thought down. “Asking Jaehyun straight up is no fun,” Donghyuck complains.

Renjun rolls his eyes. “I’m gonna ask Jaehyun.” He pushes the door to the diner open and Donghyuck has no choice to follow.

“Hey Donghyuck, Renjun. Do you guys want your regular table?” Jaehyun says with an amiable smile. Amiable. That’s Jaehyun in a word. 

Renjun cuts straight to the chase. “Do you know who Ten is?” He asks. 

Jaehyun laughs. “Ten? Yeah, he’s a lifeguard. Joined back in June. He’s from Thailand. Why?”

“We were just curious about who Johnny kept running off to meet,” Donghyuck explains. 

Jaehyun smiles knowingly. “You still have a crush on Johnny?”

Donghyuck splutters and Renjun laughs, full-bodied. 

“I was _fourteen_!” 

Donghyuck came out as soon as he figured it out in school, when he was just turning thirteen. It wasn’t anything of a big deal to him, and he didn’t really understand hiding it. 

He understood well enough when his father didn’t talk to him for a half a year and Renjun’s dad tended to his black eyes and split lips in the Huang family’s kitchen, Renjun hovering beside him with tears in his eyes. The first time, Donghyuck was too shellshocked to cry. After, he got used to it, and soon he mastered the art of wriggling himself out of the grips of boys taller and stronger than him. 

Donghyuck doesn’t know if there’s any correlation between the two facts, but Renjun is out to a small handful of people in their hometown - Donghyuck was the first. He’ll always remember shivering shaky breaths and palms as cold as ice and the words whispered like Renjun was confessing a sin. Which maybe he thought he was.

Me too, Hyuck. I’m - me too. I like boys, too.

Donghyuck had hugged Renjun tight and deliberately misunderstood the hammering of his heart in his chest. 

“I was fourteen,” Donghyuck repeats. “No, we were just bored.” Well, not really. Maybe Renjun was bored. Maybe Donghyuck could have stayed at Yerim’s house and not bothered at all. But he loves gossip, and he loves a little adventure, no matter how far the definition of the term has to be scaled down to fit into his small seaside town’s life. 

“They’ll be by the beach for sure,” Jaehyun says. “But you know that. You’re here.”

“Thanks, Jaehyun,” Renjun says. They turn to go.

“Bye,” Jaehyun calls. The chimes over the door tinkle pleasantly as they make their way out. 

Donghyuck looks out into the ocean. The way it reflects the sun is a little blinding but past that, it’s the rich sea blue of postcards. 

“Let’s walk down a little further,” Renjun suggests, putting his sunglasses back on and patting his hair down. Donghyuck mourns the way it looked on Renjun just for a second before agreeing. 

Most of the tourist destinations and all the shops and the big hotel are all on the northern end of the shore. As you walk southward, the population becomes more local and you see more and more fishing boats and fish shops. All the way down southwards, there’s a pier, and that’s where Renjun points all of a sudden. 

“That’s them,” he says. The size of Johnny’s silhouette is unmistakable even from a distance, and beside him is a smaller figure that must be Ten. They’re sitting on the edge of the pier, and Donghyuck and Renjun stand there in silence watching them for a few seconds. They’re just talking. They’re sitting close, but they’re just talking. 

“This is more anticlimactic and much less fun than I thought it would be,” Donghyuck mumbles. 

Renjun barks out a laugh. “What did you expect?”

“I don’t know,” Donghyuck shrugs. “Fun.”

“I just followed along with your idea. Why did you wanna do this anyway?”

Donghyuck pouts. “I don’t know. Johnny hyung was being so secretive, I thought they’d at least be doing something worth gossiping about. They’re just sitting and talking.”

Renjun rolls his eyes. “You owe me,” Renjun says. “ _I_ decided to ask Jaehyun, and I found them.”

Donghyuck huffs. “What do you want?”

Renjun points. “You could buy us ice cream?”

There’s a truck driving past, playing a sweet tune. Donghyuck has bought from it many times, mostly because once his siblings hear its signature jingle they all start whining until they get what they want. 

So they chase it down until it stops and stand in line between the tourists with their flipflops who take ages to decide on a flavour. Renjun gets chocolate and Donghyuck gets green tea and Renjun takes a lick from Donghyuck’s when he goes to pay.

“I hate you,” he says, putting as much sincerity as he can behind the words. Renjun smiles dazzlingly at him and even the man behind the counter, counting his change, stifles a laugh.

They slip off their shoes and head down onto the beach proper, then, ice creams in hand. Renjun sits himself down on the sand a few metres up from the shoreline. 

“Sit,” he calls Donghyuck, beckoning. 

Donghyuck sits. 

“I don’t know why this shitty ice cream van ice cream is so much better than anything I had in busan.” Renjun practically moans when he bites into the ice cream, the noise turning into something more akin to a hiss when the brainfreeze hits.

“Don’t call it shitty,” Donghyuck says. “It’s _our_ ice cream van.”

Renjun gives him the side eye. “Sure,” he concedes after a little moment. “So, Johnny, huh?” He says. His teasing tone is clear in his voice but Donghyuck whines anyway.

“You _know_ I got over that in high school.”

“I do know,” Renjun says. “But it’s still funny to tease you about it. You were so cute and infatuated,” Renjun reminisces. 

Donghyuck huffs. “I was cute, thank you for agreeing,” he says. 

Renjun presses on. “Is that what you like? Big six foot tall brother figures?”

Donghyuck feels his cheeks warming. “No! Johnny was just really nice and like, a role model to me. I was a kid, let it go.”

“Then what do you like?” Renjun says. His pink hair is falling into his eyes and he runs his fingers through his fringe. 

_You_ , Donghyuck thinks automatically.

“Chocolate ice cream,” he says instead, he leans forward quickly and cranes his neck to get a lick of Renjun’s ice cream as revenge for earlier but he leans back and holds the cone as far away as possible.

Renjun is practically shrieking in protest and Donghyuck is laughing as he tries to climb over Renjun and steal his ice cream, until Renjun starts laughing too and Donghyuck falls back, defeated.

The sand is warm against his back. Something inside Donghyuck’s heart feels like it’s melted away. 

☀️

Donghyuck starts hanging out with Renjun on the regular. While hanging out with Yerim means gaming in her living room all day, occasionally with Johnny, hanging out with Renjun entails something entirely different. Donghyuck and Renjun spend their days outdoors. Donghyuck’s mother fusses over his tan, getting darker by the day, but he can’t help it. He and Renjun spend hours out in the sun, most days just talking on the beach. The salt and the sand become a permanent feature in Donghyuck’s routine. He catches the bus, meets Renjun, and they sit as close to the shoreline as either of them dares. On one memorable occasion when it had been not only hot but dry to boot, Renjun had frustratedly tugged off his shirt and waded into the water. 

“It’s so much cooler in here,” he said, beckoning Donghyuck. “Come on.”

But most days they stay out of the water and are content to lie on the sand. Donghyuck props himself up on his elbows and examines Renjun. 

Renjun pauses mid sentence and squints at him, the sun bright in his eyes. 

“What?” He asks. 

Donghyuck is quiet for a long time. “You look different,” he finally proclaims. “But I don’t know what it is.”

Renjun hums. “It’s probably my hair.”

The pink is fading to the bleached blonde and the roots are turning dark again. 

“Oh, you’re right,” Donghyuck realises. “It still looks good though.”

Renjun lets out a surprised laugh. “I think you’re biased.” He runs a self conscious hand through his fringe where it’s nearly grown long enough to hide his eyes. 

“Why would I be biased?” Well, Donghyuck knows why he’d be biased, but he doesn’t think Renjun knows. He tries to keep his tone even and isn’t sure he entirely succeeds. 

Renjun blinks up at him. There’s something in his expression that shifts, but it’s too quick for Donghyuck to figure out what it means. 

“I suppose you’re not.” Renjun turns back to face the sky.

☀️

Donghyuck’s family are shocked to say the least when he announces from the doorway that Renjun will be joining for them for dinner. It’s not strange per se, the younger ones bring over friends all the time, and so did Donghyuck when he was still in school. But he can’t blame them for being surprised to see Renjun with Donghyuck for the first time in three years. He’d be surprised, too. 

Still, his mother recovers quickly, Dowoon and Dahee are too young to really care. It’s just Doyeon who keeps shooting him weird looks while Renjun and his mother engage in a battle to see who can be more polite. Renjun wins, in the end, and Donghyuck’s mother reluctantly gives him some potatoes to peel. The two of them stand shoulder to shoulder, working in comfortable silence. Comfortable, until Donghyuck’s father arrives home from work and Renjun tenses up. He’s met Donghyuck’s father many times since they were little but Donghyuck can’t blame him for feeling uncomfortable around him. 

“Huang Renjun is here,” Doyeon announces from where she’s sitting with Dahyun on the living room floor. 

Donghyuck’s father makes a slightly disinterested noise and heads to his bedroom.

“He’s tired from working all day,” his mother explains quickly, taking the peeled potatoes from in front of Renjun. Renjun bows a little. “It’s alright,” he says.

Donghyuck thinks it isn’t, but his father isn’t exactly the pinnacle of manners.

He has a lot more to say when he emerges from the bedroom, though. He stands in the kitchen doorway and starts making conversation with Renjun. Making conversation is putting it lightly, Donghyuck considers. It’s a little more akin to an interrogation.

Donghyuck watches as Renjun gives hesitant answers to the questions his father asks him about how he got into a prestigious medical school when he had the same schooling as every other kid.

“Renjun was always a hardworking kid,” Donghyuck’s mother interjects when he sounds particularly accusatory. “Even if these two got into trouble all the time. I remember when you two were caught graffitiing,” she says with a chuckle. 

They had been fifteen. Renjun “borrowed” spray paints from god knows where and while Renjun had been doing something fun and expressive, Donghyuck distinctly remembers seeing how many dicks he could draw before they had to run. They’d both ended up with detentions in school and not much else because Dr Huang had asked very nicely to let them off easy. 

“Right,” Donghyuck’s father says. “You were one of those artistic kids, weren’t you, Renjun?”

Renjun nods politely. “Yes.”

“And how did that lead you to being a doctor?”

“Well, I have four years left,” Renjun says. “But I enjoy studying medicine.”

“Your father must be proud,” Donghyuck’s father says. He glances at Donghyuck, who quickly looks away. 

“I hope he is,” Renjun says.

“Ma,” Donghyuck says suddenly. “Do you mind if Renjun and I eat out on the back porch? The fan’s set up out there.”

She blinks at him in surprise. “You won’t be more comfortable on the dining table with the family?”

“No, I don’t mind,” Renjun adds. He shoots Donghyuck a grateful look, and while Doyeon sets the table, Renjun and Donghyuck fill their plates and head through the back door. 

Crickets chirp as Renjun and Donghyuck settle down to eat. It’s a little quiet, but it isn’t awkward. They chat about their day, but a thought occurred to Donghyuck when they were inside and as much as he tries to ignore it, it keeps bothering him. He swallows his food and looks over at Renjun. 

“I’m gonna ask you a question,” Donghyuck says, laying down his chopsticks. “Can you answer honestly?”

Renjun looks up at him in alarm, his own chopsticks frozen halfway to his mouth. “I guess..?”

“Are you doing what you want to? Or are you doing what you’ve been told?”

Donghyuck watches carefully as Renjun’s jaw clenches and unclenches.

“Are you talking about medical school?” Renjun asks. His tone is measured. 

“Yes.”

“Then I’ve told you already. I want to be a doctor, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck huffs, frustrated. “I know, you _said_ that and like, it makes sense, you were good at science, you were good at everything, but you always - you were always into like, art, and we used to talk about doing lit together at college before your dad made you -”

“Shut up,” Renjun says, eyes blazing. His tone is still even. Donghyuck has always loved to rile Renjun up, annoy him because he’s cute, but there’s something simmering here that Donghyuck never wanted. 

“I -”

“My dad didn’t make me do anything, Donghyuck. We weren’t friends for three whole years. This summer is the first time we’ve spoken for real since 2016. You’re looking at me now and you’re looking for the kid you knew back then and that’s all you’re holding onto, Donghyuck. I get it, I get that you’re looking out for me, but you’re - trust me when I tell you I’m happy. I’m who I am now. Not who I was three years ago.”

Donghyuck stares at Renjun, open mouthed. He goes to speak but Renjun stops him.

“I’m gonna head back home,” he says, getting to his feet. Donghyuck feels frozen, sitting on the porch while Renjun stands over him. There’s a moment of silence. The whirring of the fan is deafening all of a sudden. 

Then Donghyuck blinks, and Renjun is gone. He can hear his voice inside, thanking Donghyuck’s mother for the food. He can hear his family’s surprise that he’s leaving so early, hears Renjun’s polite forced laugh, and then he’s gone.

Donghyuck stares at his bowl, still half full, and doesn’t touch it till his mother comes out and takes it from him with a tut. 

“You should finish your food, Donghyuck-ah,” she says.

“Sorry,” Donghyuck responds automatically, and she’s gone back inside. 

Donghyuck leans against the railing of the porch and mentally kicks himself. He should have just said sorry to Renjun then and there instead of staring dumbly at him till he left. 

The worst part is that Donghyuck isn’t sure if Renjun’s wrong. The reason Donghyuck clung to Renjun to start with, when they first reunited at the school weeks ago, was because Renjun was an anchor to a place and a time Donghyuck had spent his months in the city craving for and obsessing over and romanticising in his head. But the truth is, Renjun is right in one way for certain. Three years is a long time. Renjun isn’t who he was then, and neither is Donghyuck. So much has changed. 

Renjun is someone new, and so is Donghyuck, but one thing is the same. A single constant across all the versions of themselves - Donghyuck likes Renjun. So, so, much. If he weren’t afraid of the words being too big for a timespan that’s too small, Donghyuck would say that he is totally and irrevocably in love with Renjun.

As it is, Donghyuck just groans and flops backwards to lie on the porch until one of the kids is sent to fetch him.

☀️

The next evening, it’s a weekend, which means Donghyuck can drive to Renjun’s house in his dad’s blissfully air conditioned car. The humidity’s been building to the point where it’s stifling and any respite is welcomed. 

Donghyuck realises with a start that this is his first time driving to Renjun’s. When they were friends in school, they’d been too young to drive. Still, Donghyuck knows the route from having walked or cycled or - on precisely one occasion - skated it.

Dr Huang is gardening when Donghyuck pulls over. Donghyuck remembers this about Renjun’s dad. He’s an excellent doctor and a diligent worker and his one passion outside of medicine is gardening. Maybe it’s a biology thing, plants or whatever, but Donghyuck doesn’t think too hard about it, just waves pleasantly at him.

“Lee Donghyuck!”

“Hi, Dr Huang,” Donghyuck says, bowing a little.

“How’s your sister?” 

His sister - right, Dahyun had had some shots last week. Doyeon and their mother had taken her and Doyeon had complained that Donghyuck should have gone instead because Dahyun likes him better. Which she does, but Donghyuck had been on the beach with Renjun that day instead, and he doesn’t regret it.

“She’s alright, thank you. Is it fine if I just go in?”

“Sure,” Dr Huang says, adjusting his broad rimmed hat. It’s a little funny, his off-duty look, and the corner of Donghyuck’s mouth quirks up into a smile. “He’s in the living room.”

Donghyuck nods and bows a little again before pushing the door open. Renjun’s mother’s cat is sleeping on top of Renjun’s shoes in the doorway. 

Before Donghyuck can say anything, Renjun calls something out in Mandarin. He must think it’s his dad that’s come in.

“It’s me,” Donghyuck says, also in Mandarin, albeit very badly accented. “Donghyuck.”

Renjun falls silent and Donghyuck walks in and sees him. He’s on his phone, sitting cross legged on the couch.

“Hi,” Donghyuck says, back in korean now because his mandarin is very severely limited. 

“Hi,” Renjun responds. His hair is fluffy - frizzy, really, from the humidity - and his t shirt is oversized and he’s wearing loose shorts. He looks so soft. Donghyuck wants to touch. 

“I came to say sorry,” Donghyuck says instead of any of that. “About what I said yesterday, about pushing too far. I - you’re a whole person. A person now, who I - who I value _now_ , and you can be more than just one thing. And you’re gonna be an amazing doctor someday.”

Renjun watches Donghyuck carefully, chewing at the inside of his cheek. Donghyuck’s heart feels like there’s a fist tightening around it. “I’m sorry,” Donghyuck repeats. 

Renjun considers for a moment. “It’s okay,” he says finally, and the grip on Donghyuck’s heart loosens in his chest. Renjun keeps talking. “I reacted - I mean, I don’t want to say I overreacted but it was just because - everything you’re saying made sense to a version of me that isn’t me anymore. I’m happy, Donghyuck. Sometimes - sometimes I’m scared, you know. If my past self could see me now, whether he’d be proud of me.”

“He would be,” Donghyuck says right away. He doesn’t even question it. “You’re smart, and you’re working hard at a really hard degree to help people. That’s something Renjun would be proud of.”

Renjun smiles at him. “I forgave you, you can stop flattering me now.”

“Shut up and take the compliment,” Donghyuck whines.

“Thank you,” Renjun says, and though he’s smiling, Donghyuck can tell he means it.

Donghyuck used to look at Renjun and search for a ghost of a person that he used to know. But now, when Donghyuck looks at Renjun, he just sees Renjun. Whole and real and a person in the present. And that’s more than enough.

“Hey, do you have anywhere to be?” Donghyuck asks. 

Renjun squints at him and slips his phone into his pocket. “Why?”

“I have my dad’s car. We could - we could drive up to the cliffs.” 

“Won’t he miss his car?”

“He’s a homophobe,” Donghyuck says with a shrugs.

Renjun snorts. “Okay, then.”

Donghyuck’s been up to the clifftops a few times before. Never with Renjun, but Johnny used to drive him, Yerim, and Jaehyun up on a pretty regular basis. There wasn’t much there other than the view, but god, was the view worth it. It’s a fairly long drive out of town but with Renjun sitting shotgun and fiddling with the radio, time passes quickly. 

Donghyuck looks over at him. It’s the time of day where the line between afternoon and evening is blurred and the sun is warm on Renjun’s skin as he leans forward to scan through the stations. Donghyuck has lived a lifetime in the sun, but the way Renjun looks right now feels novel. 

“Oh, shit,” Renjun says.

Donghyuck’s eyes snap back to the road. “What is it?”

“Listen.”

The radio, Donghyuck realises a little belatedly. 

“- Local government releases an amber level warning for high winds and heavy rains set to hit areas of the coast on sunday. The storm comes after a period of high levels of humidity and it is recommended to limit travel on the day affected. Train routes will be running…”

“Sunday,” Donghyuck says. “Tomorrow?”

“It’s a good thing it’s a sunday,” Renjun notes. “Less people will be out. Hey, we’re here.”

And here they are. The first thing Donghyuck looks for is their hometown - out of habit, really. He knows where to find it and it’s right where it’s supposed to be, sitting snugly way down in a bay miles and miles away. But there’s more to see - the horizon stretches far and the sea is so vast from here. Donghyuck feels like it’s a natural thing to be afraid of the ocean, but he isn’t. He wonders whether Renjun is. 

“Do you wanna get out?” Renjun suggests. His hand is already on the door handle. 

Donghyuck groans. “It’s so hot out.”

“Come on, it’ll get cooler as the sun goes down.”

“And more humid,” Donghyuck counters. “You know, water vapour, science.”

Renjun glares at him. “Fine, you can sit in the car on your own,” he says, climbing out. He closes the door with a slam for dramatic effect. Donghyuck knows it’s for dramatic effect because he can tell from Renjun’s cheeks that he’s smiling, even if he can’t see his face from this angle. And Donghyuck’s plenty dramatic too, so he does sit in the car on his own for nearly a full two minutes while Renjun climbs onto the hood and resolutely does not look back at Donghyuck through the windshield. And although Donghyuck is tremendously stubborn when he wants to be, he ends up grabbing his sunglasses from the dashboard and joins Renjun on the hood of the car.

“I really hope your dad doesn’t get pissed about the car,” Renjun says when Donghyuck’s settled beside him.

Donghyuck casts Renjun a look. “I don’t care, but if it makes you feel any better, he won’t be. He doesn’t have anywhere he has to be.”

Renjun relaxes a little. “That does make me feel better.”

Donghyuck shoves at Renjun’s shoulder a little. “Nerd,” he scoffs.

Conversation comes easy and really, the heat isn’t so bad up here. Donghyuck wouldn’t notice the time passing if not the way the light changes as it hits Renjun’s skin. He looks golden, nearly, and his pink hair gives him an ethereal sort of effect. Donghyuck swallows. Renjun really is beautiful. 

“Look at the sky,” Renjun says. He shifts his position a little and it brings them closer together.

Donghyuck looks.

Honestly, Donghyuck has seen thousands of suns setting over this sea. He’s seen every possible variation of a perfect sunset growing up in their town. But still, Renjun tells him to, so he looks.

The sky has turned a deep pink as the sun had dipped lower and lower beneath the horizon, and the clouds capture and reflect the colour in shades that are almost maroon, pink light filtered through grey. The sea shimmers with its constant motion. Down in the bay, the tide must be inching in. 

Renjun lets out a soft breath and Donghyuck’s gaze shifts towards him. The shadows and angles of his profile are soft in the orange light. His t-shirt dips beneath the divots of his collarbones and Donghyuck’s eyes wander down and back up to Renjun’s face. You can’t have a moment of realisation for a fact you already knew, not really, but Donghyuck feels that way regardless. He sort of feels that way a lot, when it comes to Renjun. He knows how he feels but he is discovering the depth of it with every passing second he spends in Renjun’s presence. 

“Pretty,” Renjun murmurs. 

“Yeah,” is all Donghyuck can bring himself to say. He wonders if Renjun could tell he doesn’t mean the view when he looks over at him, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. 

His lips - Donghyuck looks at them, and looks away. Looks back at them and looks away again. Since when were they sitting this close? Shoulder to shoulder practically, and when they turn to face each other they’re mere inches apart. It’d be so easy, really. To close the distance. To kiss Renjun as the sun sets on the horizon, here on the clifftop with no one to see. Donghyuck’s gaze flicks back to meet Renjun’s and his eyes are so - they’re trained on Donghyuck’s every movement.

Donghyuck feels lightheaded. He leans back abruptly and slides down off the car.

“Are you thirsty? I’m kind of thirsty, I think there’s water in the car. Let me… get it.”

Renjun sits right there where he left him, stock still for a moment, until Donghyuck sees him shifting in his peripheral vision. When Donghyuck gets back with a bottle of water, Renjun is sitting considerably further away than he had been before. Donghyuck feels his mouth go dry as he hoists himself up onto the hood again. 

“You were right,” Renjun says after he’s taken a swig of the bottle, too. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and Donghyuck has to shut down his inner twelve year old that’s thinking about how sharing the bottle was an indirect kiss. 

Donghyuck coughs. “I mean, yes, of course. But like… what was I right about?”

“The humidity,” Renjun says. He tugs at the collar of his shirt. “I’ve soaked through my shirt with sweat.”

“Gross,” Donghyuck says, wrinkling his nose, although he knows full well he’s in the exact same state. 

“So I guess we should go back?” Renjun says. He sounds regretful, but Donghyuck knows he’s right. The roads they drove to get up here aren’t well lit and Donghyuck would rather they get back down when there’s still some daylight. He truly hadn’t thought they’d be out so long.

“I guess we should,” Donghyuck responds. Neither of them make any move to get back in the car. 

“I’m saying goodbye to the view,” Renjun explains quietly. 

“The sea will still be there when we get back,” Donghyuck says. 

“It’s not the same as it is up here,” Renjun sighs as he drops to the ground.

As Renjun gets back into the car, Donghyuck turns to the ocean. He knows it’ll be there to greet them when they arrive home, but still. He feels silly, but he whispers goodbye, anyway.

☀️ 

On sunday, the entire town braces for a storm. Donghyuck helps out at the hotel getting rid of deckchairs and any other hazards. He doesn’t get paid, but he does get many passionate thank yous from Jaehyun. 

But the humidity builds, and the children get restless, and the storm doesn’t come. 

“The weather’s been really messed up anyway,” Jaehyun says, wiping sweat off his forehead with the back of his palm. “And now this weird delayed storm…”

Donghyuck hums in agreement, not really listening. He does, however, tune in when Jaehyun sighs at his phone.

“What is it?” He asks. 

“Johnny. He’s worried about his lifeguard boyfriend.”

“Lifeguard - _Ten_ the lifeguard.”

Jaehyun’s lips quirk up into a smile. “Yeah, you know. The one you and Renjun were stalking.”

Donghyuck flushes. “Shut up.”

“Anyway, yeah. He’s got a shift today out on the beach. He’s all, _Jaehyunnie I know it’s his job to save people but who’s going to save him?_ ” Donghyuck starts in surprise. Jaehyun’s Johnny impression is off-puttingly accurate.

But it turns out that Johnny has no reason to worry, because sunday comes and goes with no storm in sight.

Everyone is baffled. When Donghyuck gets home to a house with shuttered windows, his mother is listening intently to the same radio station he and Renjun had tuned into yesterday while folding the kids’ clothes. The meteorologists are waiting for the storm, too. But the storm doesn’t come. 

That night, Donghyuck is awake staring at his ceiling fan and still there’s no storm. At half past two, he slips out of his bedroom but is surprised to see Doyeon out on the landing in her pyjama shorts and a t shirt from her dream university. She’s sitting on the top step, and she doesn’t notice Donghyuck until he’s right behind her. She turns and looks at him in silence. 

“What’s wrong?” Donghyuck asks, settling on the top step beside her. 

“The fan in my bedroom broke last night,” Doyeon explains, picking at the edge of her shorts. “we’re getting it fixed tomorrow, but it’s too hot to sleep without. I was told to sleep in the Dowoon and Dahee’s room but Dowoon sleeptalks.”

“Right,” Donghyuck says. It makes sense. The two of them have the biggest room and it has that couch that his mother didn’t want in the sitting room but his father didn’t want to get rid of. 

“Does it storm in the city?” Doyeon asks quietly. 

“Of course it does,” Donghyuck says. “it’s only a few hours away, Doyeonie.”

Doyeon sighs. “Of course it does,” she echoes, stretching catlike then leaning on Donghyuck’s shoulder. He watches her as she stifles a yawn.

“Don’t drool on me,” he warns.

Doyeon glares at him. “Why are you awake, anyway?”

Right. The million dollar question. Why _is_ Donghyuck awake? What - or who- has been on his mind so much that he can’t even sleep?

“Is it Huang Renjun?” Doyeon says, blinking up at him innocently. Donghyuck nearly jumps out of his skin.

“What do you know about Huang Renjun?” He practically scoffs. 

Doyeon rolls her eyes. “You guys used to be friends. I remember, you know. I wasn’t that young. I was like, ten years old.”

“Ten years old is young,” Donghyuck counters.

“You used to be friends,” Doyeon presses on. “And now you’re hanging out again all the time. So what? Are you guys dating?”

Donghyuck goes very still. If he’s honest - he’d been in bed replaying that moment on the clifftop over and over again in his mind. What if he hadn’t chickened out? Would they have kissed? Was Donghyuck imagining tension where there wasn’t any, or was that draw he felt real?

“So… you’re not dating?” Doyeon says.

Donghyuck starts. “We’re not,” he confirms, and the truth of it stings just a little bit. 

“But you like him,” Doyeon states, and she isn’t asking. She’s wearing that little half smile on her lips.

“I’ll push you down these stairs,” Donghyuck threatens. “I could make it look like an accident.”

Doyeon laughs aloud and huddles closer, latching onto his arm. “Oppa likes a boy,” she teases. “I’m smart, see. I can tell these things.”

Donghyuck just shakes his head and pries his arm free from her grasp. 

“Go try to sleep,” he tells her, standing up. “I’m sure you’re tired enough by now to sleep through Dowoon’s talking. Just think of it as white noise.”

Doyeon follows quietly. She must be really tired. 

“I don’t understand why you got so homesick,” she mumbles at Donghyuck. She pouts. “There’s nothing here.”

Donghyuck has a lot of ways he could answer that, but he chooses one. 

“You guys are here.”

Doyeon snorts. “You’re a sap,” she declares.

“Goodnight, Doyeon,” Donghyuck says. 

“Goodnight, oppa.”

☀️

Monday arrives and there’s still no storm. Everyone’s on edge still and it’s starting to get to Donghyuck. So when Renjun invites him over to his house, he’s out the door and on the bus within minutes.

When he gets there, Renjun meets him at the door and they go upstairs. It’s been years since he’s been here.

Renjun’s bedroom is a mess. 

Which isn’t really any fault of Renjun’s, Donghyuck can see at first glance. Renjun has always been a meticulously neat person, and back when Donghyuck would spend hours on end with him here, it was always almost suspiciously neat for a teenage boy’s room, but it was just in Renjun’s nature. Now, Renjun’s bed has been pushed to a corner and there’s odd pieces of furniture and boxes occupying most of the room. It’s clear that the Huangs have repurposed Renjun’s old bedroom while their son was at university.

Renjun reads Donghyuck’s face easily. 

“I know,” he says. It’s hollow. “It’s weird. That’s why I’m never home. I hate being in this room when it’s like this.”

Donghyuck gets it, perhaps on a deeper level than Renjun knows. His gaze catches on a half opened box.

“What’s this?” He says, moving towards it on instinct. Some of the contents look familiar. Almost like they’re from another life. 

“I -” Renjun swallows.

“Can I look?” Donghyuck runs his fingers along the edge of the cardboard. He thinks he knows what’s in here, but he won’t look if Renjun doesn’t want him to. 

“Go ahead,” Renjun nearly whispers. He hangs back, so Donghyuck opens the box and one by one pulls out its contents.

It’s art supplies. Paints and brushes and sketchbooks filled cover to cover, the edges of the pages stained with ink, paint, and age. Neatly arranged to one side, there are Renjun’s bigger paintings, the ones on canvases.

Donghyuck looks over his shoulder. Renjun’s moved closer, his shoulder nearly brushing Donghyuck’s.

“Why is all of it packed away like this?” Donghyuck asks, but he’s pretty sure he knows the answer. Gingerly, he opens the biggest sketchbook. It’s a view of the village from the pier in ink and watercolour. Donghyuck remembers when Renjun got this book brand new for his birthday and they sat out in the springtime sun for hours while Renjun drew and Donghyuck watched and occasionally fed him berries with his hand. They’d had to run when it had started raining, the unpredictable march weather, and he can see even now where there’s a little water damage on the pages. 

“I had to stop. It was taking up too much time.” The words come out automatically, and Donghyuck is still thinking about their argument, so he just nods. 

“Right,” he whispers, fiddling with the edge of the page.

“Let’s sit,” Renjun says. “We can look through it if you want.”

Donghyuck looks up at him. “Are you sure?” He’s afraid of misstepping when the topic is so close to the one they fought over. Donghyuck apologised, but still.

Renjun smiles at him and moves to sit on the bed. He pats the empty space beside him.

“Come on,” he says. 

Renjun’s art is beautiful. Donghyuck has always known it, but it’s nice to be reminded. Renjun lets him turn the pages and he takes his time on every spread. He’s probably looking at them for a little too long, but Renjun lets him. When he does turn the pages, he does it gingerly.

“Oh. Me,” Donghyuck says, a little dumbly. It’s dated July 2016, right at the tail end of their friendship, before life and school and a million little things that Donghyuck never understood pulled them apart.

“You.” Donghyuck doesn’t need to look up to know Renjun is smiling. It’s a pencil sketch, but it’s amazing.

“I was ugly back then,” Donghyuck whines. “Why did you have to draw me so accurately? You couldn’t have made me more handsome?”

Renjun laughs and shoves Donghyuck a little, then shuffles closer to get a better look at the book. His thigh is pressed warm against Donghyuck’s as he leans forward. 

“You’ve always been handsome,” Renjun says, and Donghyuck looks at him in shock. Renjun glances up at him and quickly back at the book. He doesn’t seem to be joking or teasing at all. Donghyuck feels his cheeks warming as he mumbles his thanks. 

He flips to the back of the book and his breath catches in his throat. There’s his own handwriting all over the back page, little notes and crudely done sketches of Renjun, their teachers, and their friends.

Renjun lets out a little laugh and reads one of them out loud. 

“Huang Renjun if you get detention on my birthday I will kill you so don’t talk back for once in your life, got it? Sixth June 2016.”

“Did you?”

Renjun shrugs and laughs. “I don’t remember.”

Donghyuck pushes the book onto the dresser gingerly and turns to face Renjun. The fan is on but the humidity seeps through his skin anyway. A storm is coming. 

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” Renjun says, eyes trained on Donghyuck’s face. “We were so close, and then we just weren’t for the last two years of school.”

It is weird, and sad, and thinking about it puts an odd feeling in Donghyuck’s gut. Glancing across a crowded class or someone’s living room at a party and seeing Renjun, and not being by his side. Donghyuck missed Renjun every day they weren’t friends, but he didn’t know how to fix something that he hadn’t realised was broken until it was already gone. And when he was away in Seoul, suffocating on the city air, he somehow missed Renjun even more. But - 

“I actually have something to confess, though,” Renjun says quietly. “It wasn’t - um.” He bites at the inside of his cheek. “It wasn’t by accident.”

Donghyuck’s gut drops to the ground. He swallows. “What do you mean?”

“I deliberately… stopped talking to you.”

“What the fuck,” Donghyuck says. He doesn’t know, really, what he feels. Sick. Angry, a little? A little bit of everything with a pulsing undercurrent of hurt, hurt, hurt. 

Renjun clenches his jaw. “It was stupid, but I guess - I was. I don’t know. In love with you, I guess, or whatever the beta version of love is you have when you’re sixteen. And it was making me really sad, all the time, so I just… decided to stop being your friend. After you took Yerim to prom.”

Donghyuck’s head is spinning, but the first thing he can think to say is, “She’s a lesbian.”

Renjun shrugs stiffly and huffs. “I know that _now_.”

Donghyuck just stares at Renjun in silence and watches him shift uncomfortably.

“What about now?” Donghyuck asks.

Renjun stares over Donghyuck’s shoulder, then at the ground, then over at the stacked boxes. He looks anywhere but at Donghyuck.

“Why do you want to embarrass me, Donghyuck-ah? I get it - it’s weird, we’re friends again now, it’s been years.”

Donghyuck leans forward and takes both of Renjun’s hands in his. Renjun’s eyes widen and meet his, finally. 

“That’s not it,” Donghyuck says. He laughs a little, in disbelief. “That’s not it at all, Renjun, _no_. I’ve loved you since forever. Like - this summer has been so, especially -” Donghyuck huffs, looking for the words. “I just - not in a friend way, you know.” Donghyuck tightens his grip on Renjun’s hands, to ground himself, more than anything. He feels a little like he’s floating, relief rushing through his veins. 

“Oh,” Renjun says, quiet beneath the white noise of the fan.

Through the corner of his eye, Donghyuck sees a flash in the window half hidden behind the stacks boxes, but the clap of thunder still has them both flinching.

Still, Renjun doesn’t let go of his hands.

“Looks like that storm finally broke,” Renjun says, and he’s laughing. There’s nothing funny there, but Donghyuck laughing too. 

He’s just happy.

☀️

It rains for four hours, and whether Donghyuck and Renjun spent most of that time making out on Renjun’s bed is neither here nor there. 

Their first kiss is tentative. Donghyuck asks in a whisper if he can kiss Renjun, and when Renjun nods, Donghyuck kisses him. He kisses gentle and chaste but Renjun twists his hands in the waist of Donghyuck’s t shirt. 

Donghyuck pulls back and surveys Renjun’s face.

“Why are you grabbing my shirt like that?” Donghyuck whispers into the centimetres between them. 

Renjun swallows and lets go. “My hands are shaking,” he confesses. “I like you so much.”

The words warm Donghyuck’s chest from the inside out and gingerly, he takes each one of Renjun’s hands in his, lacing their fingers together.

“Like this?” Donghyuck whispers, and outside, the rain pours down, down, down and Donghyuck pushes Renjun down, down, down until he’s lying back against the bed. 

Renjun makes a tiny sound. 

“Okay?” Donghyuck asks, leaning over him. There’s a faint mole above Renjun’s eyebrow. Donghyuck has always known it was there, but it’s the first time he’s seeing it so close. 

“Okay,” Renjun breathes. 

He presses a kiss to Renjun’s forehead and feels his body relax. His hands still grip Donghyuck’s tight, but the rest of him is relaxing. 

Another kiss, to the mole this time. Renjun sighs a little. 

Another one, to the crest of his cheekbones. He drags his lips across the skin and kisses Renjun’s cheek. 

One more, pressed to the place where his dimples appear. Another kiss, on the corner of his mouth to be kept like a secret. 

Donghyuck pulls back and sees Renjun, watching him with hooded eyes and blown out pupils. Renjun really is so beautiful.

Renjun’s hands don’t grip Donghyuck’s so tight anymore, and this time, when Donghyuck finally kisses his mouth, Renjun sighs into it and kisses back, moving with Donghyuck, lips parting a little. He wants, and by god, does Donghyuck wants to give.

☀️

On the first weekend in august, Donghyuck is invited to the Seos’ house - not by Yerim, but by Johnny. Bring a friend if you want, he tells him. We’re just having a few people over. Donghyuck only has one friend he wants to bring places, and he wonders whether Johnny knew that when he invited him. Renjun’s happy to come along, anyway, especially when they learn that a few of the people who are coming are Renjun’s friends from the end of high school.

Renjun rings the doorbell, but they’re both surprised when it isn’t Johnny or Yerim. The stranger at the door stands a couple inches shorter than Donghyuck and is maybe the same height as Renjun. He’s in a tank top and stands there in silence, looking the two of them up and down.

Renjun and Donghyuck exchange a look.

“Who is it?” Comes someone’s voice from inside the house. Donghyuck shifts from foot to foot as he watches the man survey him and Renjun. 

“Some kid and his boyfriend,” he finally says. His korean is accented.

“Oh my god,” grumbles Donghyuck. He can feel his cheeks heating up, and tries to walk past and get inside but the stranger won’t budge. “Who even are you? Johnny hyung!” He calls. “It’s me!”

“You have a _boyfriend_?” shouts Yerim. He can hear her stomping down the stairs.

Donghyuck glances at Renjun, grimacing. _Sorry_ , he mouths.

Renjun just shrugs.

“Are you Ten?” Renjun asks the stranger, who’s now leaning against the doorframe. Donghyuck squints at him. His build certainly matches that of the man that he and Renjun had seen that day, sitting on the pier with Johnny, but to be honest, most of what Donghyuck remembers about that particular evening is Renjun-centric. 

“Maybe,” smirks the man who almost definitely Ten.

“Oh my god,” Yerim says, appearing behind Ten. “your boyfriend is _Huang Renjun_?”

“Hi, Yerim,” Renjun says with a little wave. 

“I knew it! I knew when you ditched like halfway through us hanging out. It was so weird. You literally stood up and left.”

Renjun laughs and Donghyuck sputters in protest. 

“You gave me a choice!”

“You always choose to stay!” Yerim retorts. 

Johnny appears, too.

“Are you guys going to come in? Jaehyun texted me, he just finished his shift.”

The five of them pile into Johnny and Yerim's living room and back out into the back garden amidst loud conversation. Yerim grills Renjun and tries to pry details out of him but Renjun just laughs and holds Donghyuck’s hand in one hand and snacks on sweet potato chips with the other. 

The august evening is long, and the sky turning blush pink gives everything an almost ethereal glow. When Jaehyun arrives, he brings with him Qian Kun and his cousin Chenle. Chenle’s acting like a little shit right away, yapping away in both korean and chinese whenever he sees fit. Renjun adores him, but Donghyuck is hesitant.

“Catch,” Jaehyun calls out to him, and Donghyuck narrowly missed getting a can of coke to the face. Renjun, sharp as ever, catches it one handed and makes as if he’s going to pass it to him.

“Thanks - oh, fuck off,” Donghyuck whines. Renjun immediately retracted his hand and takes a big swig of the can. He _aahs_ exaggeratedly.

“That’s it,” Donghyuck decides. He lunges forward and grabs at the can -

Only for it to spill, ice cold, all the way down his shirt.

“Ah, shit,” Donghyuck whines, standing up. Renjun is staring at him, mouth hanging open. Chenle is cackling like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen. “God, that’s cold,” Donghyuck curses, tugging at his shirt to get it off his skin. “And it’s gonna be all sticky, too.” 

“Hyuck, I’m _so_ sorry,” Renjun says, eyes still wide with shock. He looks genuinely devastated, so Donghyuck cracks a smile.

“It’s okay, Renjun. It’s kind of funny. And it’s hot out, so.” 

He takes delight in the way Renjun relaxes and smiles at him and ignores the gagging sound Yerim makes behind him.

“You can take a shirt from my bedroom,” Johnny calls out to him from behind Ten, who’s sitting on his lap even though there’s plenty of space to sit anywhere else. Ten had barely reacted to Donghyuck’s accident, just looking on with mild interest. “Top drawer. Don’t snoop or you’ll find something you didn’t want to see.”

Yerim pulls out grass between her fingers just to throw it at her brother. “You’re disgusting,” she complains. 

Donghyuck huffs out a laugh at their bickering and tugs on Renjun’s wrist.

“Come on,” he says. “I feel gross.”

Johnny, probably because he’s 24 and pays for it himself, has an air conditioner in his room which Renjun switches on the moment they get in there. It’s warmer in the house than it is in the breeze outside, but much quieter. If Donghyuck tries, he can hear Ten and Yerim bickering and the booming of Jaehyun’s laugh, but he doesn’t try. 

Donghyuck tugs his ruined shirt off over his head in one clean motion and shivers as the cool air in the room hits his skin. He doesn’t miss the way Renjun’s eyes settle on him, or the pink in his cheeks when he notices Donghyuck noticing.

He picks out the first, thinnest t-shirt he sees and slips it on. It’s super oversized on him, but he thinks he can make it work.

He turns back to see Renjun watching. 

“You look cute,” Renjun says. “I really am sorry,” he adds.

“You know what you could do to make it better,” Donghyuck smirks, leaning against Johnny’s dresser. 

Renjun rolls his eyes. 

“Kiss you?”

“Kiss me.”

Donghyuck breaks into a grin and leans back invitingly.

There’s a smile hiding in Renjun’s cheeks when he steps closer. 

“Since you asked so nicely,” he says, as though he’s conceding in some way.

They kiss slow. The house is silent, though some sounds from the garden filter through the window. Renjun buries a hand in Donghyuck’s hair and tugs, just a little.

The sun has set outside, and the others could get suspicious if they take too long, so regretfully, Donghyuck pulls away. 

Renjun’s lips are just a little swollen, and Donghyuck is loathe to stop, but it’s alright, he reasons with himself. 

He slips his hand into Renjun’s and lets him lead them back downstairs to where their friends are waiting. 

It’s alright. It’s summer, and the days are long. 

They have time.

☀️

**Author's Note:**

> haha…… hi :)  
> i hope you liked this i really really do. i like it a lot :(  
> if you did like it, please leave a kudos and a comment;;;; comments make me irl cry of happiness literally i am not exaggerating so :-) please 
> 
> thank you for reading<3 i need a renjun to my donghyuck
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/oscillovers)  
> (18+)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/oscillovers)


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